Monday, September 04, 2006

 

Winglish Dictionary

This is great: a dictionary of "Winglish" terms necessary to understanding the language spoken by the wing-nuts now running the country. Here are some of my favorites:

alternative energy sources /n. phr./ 1. New locations to drill for gas and oil. 2. Coal mines.

bankruptcy /n./ A means of escaping debt available to corporations but not to poor people.

class warfare /n. phr./ Any attempt by the poor, the middle class, or even the well-off to resist the depredations of the very rich. (Ex.: Progressive taxation, unionization, consumer protection, the minimum wage.)

Clear Skies /idiomatic phr./ More air pollution.

compassionate conservatism /n./ Poignant concern for the very wealthy.

conspiracy theorist /n. phr./ Someone with a mind so sick and so twisted as to be capable of believing the truth about the Bush Administration and the Republican leadership in Congress.

creation science /n./ Belief that George W. Bush's resemblance to a chimpanzee is totally coincidental.

faith /n./ The belief that the Beatitudes include "Blessed are the rich" and "Blessed are the warmakers."

free markets /n./ Halliburton no-bid contracts at taxpayer expense.

healthy forest /idiomatic phr./ "No tree left behind."

honesty /n./ Lies told in simple declarative sentences (e.g., "Freedom is on the march.").

insanity /n./ (See "staying the course.")
in the national interest /idiomatic. phr./ 1. Conducive to the election of Republicans. 2. Beneficial to Republican contributors.

Nine-eleven (9-11) Emergency number to call when your poll numbers have fallen and you can't get up.

ownership society /n./ 1. A civilization where 1% of the population controls 90% of the wealth. 2. A political system in which all power is in the hands of the owners.

patriot /n./ 1. A person who salutes the flag and despises the Constitution.

Patriot Act /n./ 1. Pre-emptive strike on American freedoms to prevent the terrorists from destroying them first. 2. The elimination of one of the reasons why they hate us.

pro-life /adj./ Placing an infinite value on each human life from conception all the way to birth.

staying the course /gerund phr./ Continuing to perform the same actions and expecting different results (Syn: "insanity").


The Reality-Based Community: English-Winglish Dictionary (updated)



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